MacWeasel Distillery™ sits on the frigid shores of Loch Thecardor, in a distant
part of the Scottish Highlands seldom visited by outsiders. Which we feel is
just as well. It helps keep the secrets of Old Sporran Scotch Whiskey™ from
getting out to the world and busybody consumer groups. Established in 1214 by
Angus MacWeasel, the distillery got its start when something fell into a rather
large plywood packing crate full of rainwater and stayed in there for several
months. One night during a blinding snowstorm, Angus and his wife, Bunky, had
finished off every drop of anything alcoholic in the cottage, and Angus stepped
outside to see if any of the bottles they had thrown at each other during their
regular marital spats had gone through the window, and more importantly, whether
there was anything left in them. Stumbling around in the dark, Angus fell head
first into the packing crate, and liked what he tasted. Well, not exactly. His
words were "That'll do."
From then on, "That'll do" has been the proud motto that has set the unusual quality of Old Sporran Scotch Whiskey™. Carefully aged in plywood packing crates that closely resemble the original one Angus MacWeasel fell into, the whiskey is tended by ancient Scotsmen who walk the lines of the distillery with large paddles, digging into the vats and occasionally turning over something that's in there. The scotch has an unusually high alcoholic content, much like its founder. Our advertising of Old Sporran™ has always pointed out this fact.
In a typical campaign (illustrated) we focus more on the effects of the product, rather than its taste or aroma. We are after a special consumer: one who wants to get pissed quickly and cheaply.