This sign was specifically designed to make your eyes water

DOCMART

Loyal Doc Harris fans know that they should only use Doc Harris Brand Products. Herewith, we present our line of Career Development books and Home Improvement supplies. Each of these products has been chosen with only one important criterion first and foremost: Which suppliers are willing to pay the most money? I hope these items enrich your life. I know they've enriched mine.
BOOKS BY DOC HARRIS
Make a Million In the Radio Business (1980)
Make Six Figures In the Radio Business (1987)
Make Around $50,000 In the Radio Business (1992)
Stop Asking Me About the Radio Business! (1996)

DOC WAX

Use it on your car, your floors, your surfboard. Bald guys! Try it on your head! Put it on the bottom of the cat's feet, set him loose on a linoleum floor, then sit back and watch the fun! Scented to smell like clean towels. Available in one pound cans, 300 pound barrels, and half-ton vats.
DOC'S STRIPED PAINT
Never use masking tape again! Doc's striped paint goes on striped, stays that way. Comes in variety of widths and colors. Put on two coats for a checkerboard effect, four coats for a colorful plaid. Also available: spotted paint. Excellent for painting polka dots and refinishing cows
DOC'S GLUE/SOUP MIX
It'll stick anything together and it'll take a laser cutter or a thermonuclear explosion to loosen it! Not only is Doc's Glue and Soup Mix the strongest glue you've ever used, when lunch break comes, it makes a delicious beef soup! Just dilute it 200 parts to one with boiling water. Mmm boy! That's good!
LIQUID NAILS
Just sprinkle a few drops on a board and BANG BANG BANG it's instantly nailed to something. Not recommended for use around anything valuable, family members, or pets. AVOID SPILLING!
JARS WITH PICTURES OF DOC ON THEM
Use them to.......... er...hrumph...store wax, paint and glue in. Yeah, that's it! Not recommended for storing books